Deep Thoughts and Shallow Points
Tuesday, December 17, 2019
Finding Joy in Times of Trial and Suffering
Sunday, September 10, 2017
Awareness
I want to focus on the hate part. Hate is so dark of an emotion. It is also not just limited to feelings of self, but it is spewed upon others. This is so apparent in our culture these days. Hate is flung about carelessly and is hitting people that it should not be. The more we hate, the more we lose our humanity.
On this, September 10 2017, we are on the eve of the 16th Anniversary of one of the darkest days to ever hit American soil. The theme of that dark day, Hate. People who hate our way of life and what we stand for so much, that they attacked and killed nearly 3,000 people on that day. Humanity only seems to remember that destruction that hate brings right in the aftermath of such tragedies. People throughout this country and the world are spreading hate so carelessly that it is just like fuel for people who are looking for an excuse to express their darkest desires. Hate spreads evil. What is it that Yoda said? Fear leads to Anger, Anger lead to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering.
I am saddened by so many people that I have known, loved, and cared for who have been seduced to this style of thought in the last few years. People who used to keep me in check by making me smile and look on the bright side of life are now being seduced by this anger and hate. No one knows these feelings more than me, because I let them rule and run me for so long. These days I pay for those decisions. Granted I had an interesting life because of them, but it burned me up for so long. I have had so much reason to hate, but if anything the last 2 years have taught me, there is no time or reason for hate, because it just drags you down. And self-pity, the worst.
I wish people could learn my lessons by not actually have to go through them, but the best I can do is tell them what I think. I hope someday those people let their anger and hate go, and return to loving life the way they used to.
Love your life, love your self, and above all, love others.
Thursday, August 03, 2017
Much Needed Clarity
That, however, is not the point of this post. Constant migraines tend to make me slow down and see everything in a more objective light. After a few days of consistent migraines, I reached a moment of zen. I woke up and I was feeling so forgiving. I finally forgave everybody for everything that has happened in the past couple years. And I decided to finally forgive myself. People still throw blame around for everything, but I have decided to let go of all those grudges. My family is notorious for holding on to grudges for a long time, which is probably why everybody is eternally stressed. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of people that I can't stand, but instead of getting angry, frustrated, and/or hating, I have decided to just walk away. This new focus gives me an unbelievable amount of peace. I'll let everyone else hate and go berserk, but I do not want any part of it.
The downside is that a lot of people I care about who have turned their backs on me will be left behind, but evidently this is what I must do. I have learned that I want to hold onto too many things to preserve my past, but some will have to be left behind.
Smile, this is a happy time.
Saturday, July 15, 2017
Difference
I look around and my goals are morphing. They are no longer what they were just a few months ago. It is scary, but it is necessary. I was still carrying baggage from my previous life. Out of touch friends, quirks, and even life goals. I am truly over a lot of stuff. It is very unnerving, but I think I will be a better person in the end. I still have to figure out where I stand, but I am getting there. I no longer need any pity, I'm finally becoming myself again.
Smile people. I am here.
Saturday, July 08, 2017
I'm pathetic
KMN. (Kill Me Now)
Wednesday, July 05, 2017
Frame of Mind
Just read the headline of an article "You should right a love note to your crush."
It made me think, for the time ever, I don't have a crush, a secret love, or someone who "tickles my fancy."
For 20+ years I was either pining or actively pursuing someone. Today I am not. Even 4 months ago I was still in that frame of mind.
It's oddly peaceful when you don't have to worry about that stuff. Don't get me wrong I still have dating apps on my phone and if I thought someone was interesting enough, I would go out with them, but it could be weeks before I touch those apps and everyone I come across in real life just doesn't seem to rev my engine.
It is a weird thing to reflect on. I still have friends who are actively looking for their soulmates, but I am at a moment where it does not even factor into my priorities.
Sorry ladies, this guy has better things to do.