Frustration

Frustration is definitely setting in. Tired of being jerked around. People love telling you what you want to hear, then bolt, leaving you hanging. I did that when I was married because I was tired of her. But I can't stand that from everyone else. I will not be destroyed by the vitriol of others. I am so bitter with the way people treat me with double standards.

I want to be happy again. I will love again. In fact I'm already in love again. But she has her own issues so there is nothing I can do, again. This is gonna be yet another sucky Valentine's Day. I've hated it for so long. I think I've only had two good ones in 2 decades. 1 with Christy (after our short-lived dating), 1 with Lizzy (right before we got married.)

I love Christy, I have loved her for 12 years, I will always love her. She is, in fact, the love of my life. To convince myself of anything else, would be a lie.