As most of my family and friends know, I am plagued by migraines. The first one I remember was at 9 years old when I lived in California. At this point in my life they are an accepted nuisance. I have been through the spectrum of diagnoses with many doctors and I have many tools in controlling them. It seems to be genetic as I am the 4th generation in my family (that we know of) to suffer from them. Over the last 2 weeks, I have had 5, which sucks because I had gone a whole month without a single one.
That, however, is not the point of this post. Constant migraines tend to make me slow down and see everything in a more objective light. After a few days of consistent migraines, I reached a moment of zen. I woke up and I was feeling so forgiving. I finally forgave everybody for everything that has happened in the past couple years. And I decided to finally forgive myself. People still throw blame around for everything, but I have decided to let go of all those grudges. My family is notorious for holding on to grudges for a long time, which is probably why everybody is eternally stressed. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of people that I can't stand, but instead of getting angry, frustrated, and/or hating, I have decided to just walk away. This new focus gives me an unbelievable amount of peace. I'll let everyone else hate and go berserk, but I do not want any part of it.
The downside is that a lot of people I care about who have turned their backs on me will be left behind, but evidently this is what I must do. I have learned that I want to hold onto too many things to preserve my past, but some will have to be left behind.
Smile, this is a happy time.
