Difference

So today I kind of woke up in a new world. I spent the last couple days cleaning up messes left behind from my previous obligations. Today was kind of a clean slate, although I still have plenty to mop up. I did some symbolic stuff that actually closed some doors subconsciously. The conscious mind will have to be convinced that it is final.

I look around and my goals are morphing. They are no longer what they were just a few months ago. It is scary, but it is necessary. I was still carrying baggage from my previous life. Out of touch friends, quirks, and even life goals. I am truly over a lot of stuff. It is very unnerving, but I think I will be a better person in the end. I still have to figure out where I stand, but I am getting there. I no longer need any pity, I'm finally becoming myself again.

Smile people. I am here.

I'm pathetic

I made it a week without a crush. Totally pathetic on my part. What is wrong with me? I don't want to want anybody. Granted it's just a light crush, but I still melt whenever I see her.

KMN. (Kill Me Now)

Frame of Mind

Just read the headline of an article "You should right a love note to your crush."
It made me think, for the time ever, I don't have a crush, a secret love, or someone who "tickles my fancy."
For 20+ years I was either pining or actively pursuing someone. Today I am not. Even 4 months ago I was still in that frame of mind.
It's oddly peaceful when you don't have to worry about that stuff. Don't get me wrong I still have dating apps on my phone and if I thought someone was interesting enough, I would go out with them, but it could be weeks before I touch those apps and everyone I come across in real life just doesn't seem to rev my engine.
It is a weird thing to reflect on. I still have friends who are actively looking for their soulmates, but I am at a moment where it does not even factor into my priorities.
Sorry ladies, this guy has better things to do.