Self Examination

Okay, this was a fairly interesting day for me. It started last night when I was talking to Courtney she asked me if I knew why Savanna was acting the way she was. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about. She then went on to explain that she walked in on the tailend of a conversation at work and she asked what it was about. Kali told her that they were talking about how Savanna was jealous everytime I talked to Courtney. I was shocked. Courtney then went on to say that if I wanted to have something with Savanna, she would have no problem with that. Alarms started going off in my head. That is a classic trap. So I just started talking about something else. Not a rude change, I just asked her another question and we started a whole other conversation.

In the morning I went next door and asked my aunt if V (my boss) had mentioned anything about Savanna. She just smiled and asked "Why? Because you like her?" I just turned around and walked away. Mostly to hide the grin on my face. (I have a hard time hiding my emotions on my face.) She followed me outside and then she asked me what I specifically wanted to know. I asked her about what Courtney said to me and she said "I know." So I went to work. About 20 minutes after I got there V walked up to me and said "So you're the source of jealousy in my store." We started talking and she told me that it was no secret that Savanna was attracted to me. Then I looked at her and said "It's news to me." She just laughed.

Courtney then walked in. She smiled coyly and said hi very softly. My gosh, she looked so hot. She was also very touchie-feelie with me. She made me want her so bad. Ryan's theory is that she's jealous. And I think that he is right. Wow. Am I a prize? Much more of this and I'm gonna get a big head.

After Courtney left and she told me that I'm evil, (which is code that she wants me too) I proceeded to ask Carole. She told me that Courtney was the one that was showing jealousy whenever I talked to Savanna. It brought me down, but then she said that whenever I walked into the store, Savanna would light right up. Which is a sign that she's attracted to me. I asked her why she thought so, and she told me that Savanna didn't ask anyone else 101 questions when she first met them. Yikes. What if she is? There is no doubt that I'm attracted to her, so it could end up being interesting.

I went and saw War of the Worlds today. It's pretty good. Very intense, keeps you on the edge of your seat the whole time. Go see it, unless you can't handle the constant suspense or don't like Sci-Fi.

Later my peoples.

A Lesson in Anxiety

Just so everybody doesn't think that Ryan is the only crazy one, I'll have you all know that I myself had a series of anxiety attacks this morning. It gets to a point where you can't take it anymore and it feels like all of your problems are collapsing in on you. Almost like Claustrophobia, where you feel like the walls are closing in on you. I have some pretty good defense mechanisms against them, but there are times that it becomes too much. I haven't had any of these attacks in over 4 years, so I think I've been doing good.

Oh I can't wait to get my Mustang, that'll help me out a lot. And getting back into school will focus me, so I'm not worrying about stupid things that shouldn't really bother me. School so far away. It sucks when you can't wait for summer to get over. Maybe when I have a good paying job and a beautiful girlfriend/wife, then I'll love summers. I just want to get past the point where I have to worry about every penny I spend.

I can't wait for the day. When I can walk out onto my porch, grab my surfboard, and walk out into the ocean to surf for my morning workout. Who wants to be a millionaire? This guy...

Happy Birthday Mom

Hell-o All

Well it seems like a lot of people are having a pretty rough time compared to me, so I'm not gonna complain. I'm greatful for all the people in my life and the strength that they give me. Hang in there everybody, there's gonna be a break in the clouds and everyone is gonna see the sunshine all at once.

Kelly, we're definitely gonna miss you this weekend. I hope some of you will be able to come and see some of the fireworks that I'm gonna be launching off. I'm gonna be firing off things that don't stay on the ground, so it should be pretty interesting. Last year we were shooting bottle rockets at my two aunts who were riding on motorized scooters. I'll be taking volunteers starting now. Living on the edge is pretty fun and I promise to try to avoid setting you on fire. My grandmother is also bringing me back some other "goodies" from her trip to Jackson Hole.

I am so looking forward to this weekend. It has been a good decade since I've been to an organized fireworks show. In fact I do believe that it was Stadium of Fire. A long, long time ago. It's gonna be fun. I just hope Kelly Clarkson isn't disappointing or people I travel with behave towards one another. This is a nice little vacation, so eveyone better play nice, I ain't refereeing. Okay, enough of that.

Just to satisfy Ryan, I will admit that I have a huge crush on Savanna at work. Sometimes it sucks to be me. What can I say, I'm very human. And she's gorgeous. Have fun peoples, I'll see ya'll later.

An Interesting Day

Everybody was excited for this day, except me. I was excited until yesterday then Courtney's other work called and told her that she had to work today. That totally ruined my plans for today because I was gonna go to Seven Peaks with her. So I ended up sleeping in today. Then I decided to go see Land of the Dead (wait for the dollar theater). Then I went to the University Mall to see my new crush, Miss Savanna Allred. Omigosh she is a hottie. So glad she came to work at my store. It just sucks because I won't see her again probably until next Friday. 6 days without looking at beautiful Savanna. I guess I'll survive. I guess.

I hope all ya'll had fun watching the Temptations. Oh and Ellie, you looked very good today. Talk at you guys later.

Up and Down

Omigosh... I have been so moody the last couple of days. I think that I really need some sort of release. Everyone has been so busy that I've kinda been getting left behind. It's starting to wear me down. I was actually invited somewhere with my best friend tonite but I turned her down because she had some boys coming to visit her from Layton, but if I didn't get her full attention, then I didn't want to hang out. Is that selfish? It feels selfish. I don't like this feeling, but right now I want everyone to pay attention to me. So I go into seclusion, so I don't feel selfish.

I don't know what to do. Press on I guess. And Kelly, the exact words don't matter, it's the thought that counts. Thank you.

My Disadvantage

There's a hole in my heart, and as the days go by, it's getting bigger and bigger. If it grows much more, I'm not gonna have a heart left. What is causing this huge hole is that I long to see my mother. I haven't seen her in almost 2 1/2 years. But I don't have the money to go out and see her and it's starting to wear me down. I want to see her so much. I hate being broke because I'm a lowly college student. It bugs me. I miss her so much. She came out to see right before I left for Iraq and that was it. February 10, 2003. I never thought that I would go that long without seeing my family. It's one thing for distant relatives, but this is my mom. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll manage. But it is so killing me.

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy...

I have put this out there. I adore Courtney Beth Wilson. I spend every week day with her at work, but when I spend time with her outside of the job, I don't ever want to leave her. There's just something about her. I took her to see The Incredibles at the Scera Shell. She enjoyed the movie so much. And she enjoyed my company. Right after the movie started, she squeezed my hand and I looked over at her. She kissed me. It was totally random. That's one of those things that I love about her.

I am not looking forward to the day that she leaves for Oklahoma and College. I'm gonna miss her horribly. So I guess I'm gonna have to keep good contact with her.

I'm thinking I might have to move down to Parkway Crossing this fall, just for kicks and giggles. Savanna, my gorgeous new co-worker, is encouraging this idea. If I go down there, I'll take Mr. Honeyman with me. That way we party hardy all winter long. Sounds good doesn't it? I thought so.

Honeyman 101

I'm gonna give all of you who know him a little lesson. Honeyman is a very attention oriented person. If something is not new, then his attention tends to move on somewhere else. He has been like this since I met him over 5 years ago. People tend to get frustrated with him because he doesn't seem interested or he isn't hanging out with you as often as he used to. He doesn't show the same intensity when it comes to contacting you. These are problems that I see with whatever friends he ends up having.

Here's how to handle this:

Rule #1: Understand that he has ADD. There is nothing you can do about this, so don't take it personally. He has gotten better over the last 5 years, so don't go out saying he'll never change.

Rule #2: Don't pressure him when it seems like he's drifting. This only leads to hatred and fighting. He'll back off and you'll lose his friendship. This happens with a lot of people. He may keep contact, but it will never be the same. Just let it go. It may hurt, but some things you have to let go. Don't lay guilt trips and such either. That's just petty. And both him and I can see through it, and don't like it.

Rule #3: Just sit back and enjoy the show. There is nothing you can do to change his behavior. Don't try. He's fun. And if you stick around, he'll still be there. I've just learned that he's gonna do what he's gonna do. I may not hang out with him all the time, but I still talk to him and I do hang out with him.

You just have to be patient. You can't always get what you want from him, but he's not a flake. He sticks around and he's a good guy. So relax and enjoy his company.

Totally Bored

Sunday Morning... I should be golfing, but I have this theory that I've been punked. Sad thing is that Ryan and my dad are punked too.

Everyone seems sad right now. It's like everyone is being depressed. Things will look up. It's just June. July always looks better. At least I hope so. Right now I'm just floating too. Nothing really becomes concrete until September when I go back to school.

Yesterday was fairly interesting. I went to work and worked with our new worker. She's definitely a hottie. Then I went home and played some Xbox with my cousin. Then Ryan kept begging me so I went back and visited them. Savanna was back at work covering someone else's shift. So I visited for about two hours. Then a bunch of us went and watched Batman. It was an ok movie, a little over dramatic, but it was fun.

So I think everyone needs to cheer up and be patient. The best is yet to come...

Burning Frustration

My computer died, again. It did this last April. I really hate technology sometimes. It can be wonderful or it can be a real pain in my butt. (I would like to use a colorful metaphor, but I already used up my offensive language points on my rules for life).

I have been so tired lately, I just hate it. I think it's because I've had some pretty intense dreams lately. Whenever I dream, I wake up more tired than I was.

Tomorrow. I'm working first thing in the morning. I figure if I work tomorrow it'll give me a chance to get to know our newest worker, Savannah. Not to mention that she is very good looking. I guess I'm a sucker for a pretty face. Look at company I keep. Christy, Courtney. I love pretty girls.

So this weekend looks to be more relaxing than last. Except that I have to go get my car inspected. Monday morning I have to turn in my scholarship papers. I'm just looking forward to golfing on Sunday. A day to unwind. Then I have to go see the new Hilary Duff movie (speaking of hot women.) I also need to go see Batman (Ellie!)

You know, I'm in a bind. What do I do about these girls that I really like. When I'm with Courtney, I want to be with Courtney. But when I'm with Christy (like I was tonight) I want to be with her. I walked into my room, after my call to Dell technical support, and she was asleep in my bed. I just sighed. She was so beautiful. Errr... The inner struggles of Chris... It's enough to make me drink.

I hope ya'll have a good weekend. Be safe and be good to your fathers.

Captain's Log, Supplemental...

There's a title that any Star Trek fan should know. I can't go to sleep. I wanted to talk to Courtney, but she didn't answer. Also my mother didn't give me any news on my brother. He was getting out of jail today, so he had to go to court and see what the terms of his probation are. Sad thing is, he turned 18 on the 11th. He's been in a detention center since mid-2003, while I was in Iraq. I just remember him coming here with my mother to send me off. Now he's a different person. Time is interesting.

Crazy. This month is burning by pretty quickly. July is gonna be here quick and then August and school. But I still have plenty of summer to play with. I'm not gonna let this one slip away into the mists of time, especially with there being no National Guard drill next month.

I've gotta sleep now, but before I go I'm gonna leave my favorite poem.

Some say the world will end in Fire,
Some say in Ice.
From what I've Tasted of Desire,
I hold with those who favor Fire;
But if it had to Perish Twice,
I think I know enough of Hate
To say that for Destruction Ice
Is also great and would Suffice.
-- Robert Frost

A Little Slow Today...

Wow, my mind and body are lagging today. Yesterday was so busy that I really didn't have time to sit down and write a blog. I was occupied from 7:30am to 1:30am this morning. With few breaks. Today I was so tired that I just have been slow.

Back to Yesterday. I went to work, left from work to go help Ryan, from there I went home and took a shower. Then I went out with Courtney and played pool. That was quite fun. It was nice to hang out with her outside of work. Then we went to visit her grandfather's grave and we walked through the graveyard looking at the various gravestones, the various families that had been buried there. It's quite interesting to see how much families hold together, even after life is over. Then after I took Courtney home (after she kissed me goodbye) I went home and talked to my father. Then Christy came over and we watched Hitch because she had never seen it before and I told her that I would watch it with her. Just never got around to it until last night. An interesting thought though is that on the way back to her house, Courtney sighed and said that sometimes she really hates me. I think it has to do with my persistance towards her. I never really give up on there being something between us. If only her ex-boyfriend would just go away. He still treats her like she is his girlfriend. He got mad at her because she spent too much time with me last night. Some people just don't get it. The worst part is he tries to compete with me, but I don't compete. So it just tends to make him look like a jackass. Which is okay, because it's his choice, as long as he doesn't take his stress out on her.

Today was different. I woke up tired because I had been up so late and I had some monster dreams last night. And when I dream so much, I don't get very much rest. That's why I tend to hate dreaming. I went to work, where to my surprise, we had a new worker. And I'm glad because she is gorgeous. Yet another girl to catch my fancy. Not really. At least, not until Courtney goes to Oklahoma. I ain't gonna cause a war at work. Courtney and my battles are bad enough. After that I went home and passed out until Christy woke me up. Then she went to sleep and I woke her up. I went and rented Finding Neverland and Garden State. I also went and got us dinner. We both wanted Carl's Jr., until she started eating it and then her stomach got sick. It's been weird the last couple of months because her appetite has gone down the drain. Finding Neverland is a very good movie, if you can stand the sadness and jumpiness of the movie. Now I'm home. I've talked to Courtney twice since I left and Zac has been there. It's amazing. He never leaves. He's gonna have a mental breakdown after she leaves for Oklahoma. Then he'll move on. He's no good for her. I've said that since December, when he was showing his true colors.

Enough slandering on my part, I just had to get that out. I just value my friendship with Courtney and hope that someday it might evolve into something more. That's what I generally hope...

Yet another day, come and gone...

Boy, You Must Be Outside Your Mind!

Kinda bored tonight. I mean I did get a visit from Christy and we watched the last two episodes of Season 3 of Gilmore Girls, but then she went home a little after 9. That's one thing I hate is that most of my friends disappear after 9pm. I on the other hand am usually up until at least midnight. And tonight, my usual texting pal Courtney, is not talking to me. I really don't know why. It makes me sad. I love chatting with her. I love flirting with her. We both do it really well, but she's been kind of cold towards me lately and I really don't like it. Another one of those, But what can you dos.

I was asked today if I had found a woman yet. Like I should have a girlfriend. I may be 23, but it doesn't mean that I have to be seriously involved at this point in my life. My family is waiting for me to get married, just because they were all married by the time they were 21. I haven't had a girlfriend for more than 4 months, and that's because I either get tired of them or they decide that there is someone better. In one case I went to war and broke it off to be fair to her. She ended up getting with someone else. Sad thing was is that it broke my heart, but I've moved on. Sometimes I think about her, but what can I do? Nothing, just find the next beautiful girl that turns my head and stirs my heart. You just have to cut through my outer shell and let me get to know you. I analyze first, then I approach. Something to think about...

Words of Wisdom... (Some of these are explicit, so protect your fragile little minds.)

Do I have a treat for you. Due to popular request, I am releasing words of wisdom that I have lived by for the last 8 years. Well, here they are. ( You can thank the Honeyman)

Chris’ Rules for Life
1. Always listen when you need an answer.
2. When in doubt, let your conscience guide you.
3. Watch your back.
4. There is an upside to everything, but it isn’t always apparent.
5. Life is not fair.
6. Some rules are meant to be broken.
7. Money isn’t everything.
8. Beware: Love that is not love is evil.
9. Watch what you wish for, it might come true.
10. Someday your dreams may come true, but you have to work for them.
11. Never attempt to understand women, it will drive you insane.
12. Satan will walk all over anybody.
13. Good luck is hard to come by.
14. In the face of Tyranny make an impression on people, a martyr will help bring around the needed change.
15. Live life day to day when worried, fretting about the future will give you ulcers.
16. You may think school sucks, but it will help your future.
17. Procrastination is an evil in itself, don’t let it gain control of you.
18. Love can be a wonderful thing, but don’t let it blind you.
19. Payback is a bitch.
20. What goes around comes around.
21. Don’t let hatred guide you.
22. Only those who earn your respect deserve to have it.
23. When there’s nothing you can do, sit down, shut up, and enjoy the ride.
24. Step forward for yourself or others that are in need.
25. The Good Samaritan is always loved, but the one that is led around in a circle is despised.
26. Anyone can turn on you at anytime.
27. Hold Honor and Integrity above all else.
28. Leap across threshold of insanity, peace of mind awaits you on the other side.
29. Listening more than talking makes people want to hear what you have to say.
30. Kindness is always rewarded in some form or another.
31. Think about your actions if you make a mistake.
32. Every action has a consequence.
33. Think about others above yourself.
34. Self-Control is a valued asset.
35. Locking up your emotions will only make them explode later.
36. Finding a peaceful solution should always be the first try.
37. Men tend to ignore feelings when they are the most important.
38. Finding prosperity for others at the cost of yourself is honorable unless that person then relies completely on you.
39. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover.
40. Doing nothing is just as bad as doing the wrong thing.
41. Hiding and playing with someone’s mind is a great way to become noticed.
42. "Don’t strive for perfection, but strive for excellence; For perfection is God’s business." - Michael J. Fox
43. If you covet something, stop! The world is not ours individually, but collectively.
44. Life does not last forever, make an impact now!
45. There is no Meaning of Life; life is the greatest test of all.
46. Traditions are evil if they are Myths.
47. Do not forget from whence you came, for it is who you are and who you will always be.
48. There is nothing to fear but fear itself.
49. True friends are hard to find, do not ever sacrifice them.
50. Do not be prejudiced in any way, it makes you look like a fool.
51. Nobody knows everything; anyone who acts that way is bullshitting their way through life.
52. You soul talks to you through your dreams.
53. There is someone out there for everyone.
54. Nobody can see everything in the perfect perspective.
55. Losing a good friend over petty differences shows how much of fools you both are.
56. Watching a sunrise or sunset will always calm the mind.
57. Remember they won’t know until you tell them.
58. Patience is a virtue that is everlasting.
59. "Small minds talk about people, mediocre minds talk about things, and great minds exchange ideas."
60. The Phoenix will always rise again.
61. The core of the heart is Love.
62. Life & Death will always occur; Only God can change that.
63. Change is the only constant.
64. Time is important, Never let it slip by you.
65. The first True Love leaves an impact like none other.
66. True Leaders live behind the scenes.
67. It is important to always have a shoulder to cry on.
68. True friends watch you back, they don’t stab it.
69. The greatest gift of all is to see through people, so you understand who they really are.
70. Acceptance is not the most important thing, caring is.
71. Death is the beginning of the true life.
72. Live each day as if it is your last, for it may be.
73. Everyone needs at least some distance.
74. To accept others faults is to accept the humanity within yourself.
75. Taking advantage of a bad situation for personal gain is purely evil.
76. If you trust a person enough and you truly care for them, then you can do whatever they want.
77. When two people become close friends, they become part of one another.
78. Only Time can tell.
79. There is an exception to every rule.
80. The sacrifices made for love show the greatest side to a person.
81. Taking your philosophy, finding the extreme opposite, and accepting the values of that philosophy takes courage.
82. Nobody can get everything they want.
83. You don’t know what affect a person has on you until they are gone.
84. Always keep Hope alive; If not for you, then for others.
85. Always tell the Truth; But you don’t have to say it in absolute pessimism.
86. Maturity does not come with age, but with experience; don’t expect the immature to mature at your will.
87. The world will end, it’s just a matter of when and how.
88. Everyone has a weakness.
89. The rawest emotions; Anger, Happiness, and Love; are euphoric.
90. Any Addiction has its cons.
91. Good men will always take the rap for bad men’s actions.
92. Women should naturally get our highest respect; Unless they totally prove otherwise.
93. Life needs only one rule, righteousness; Anyone who achieves true righteousness needs no other rule.
94. Procrastination is the number one cause of worry.
95. Strength can be earned, but true strength was here from birth.
96. The night is humankind’s undoing.
97. Divine Intervention is a matter of faith.
98. To Dream is to Experience.
99. The Past is always tied to the Future.
100. Failure is not an option.
101. Pain, Let Downs, Heartbreaks, and Disappointments don’t matter; They are all in the mind.
102. Turn your Weaknesses into your Strengths.
103. Being a hermit and never changing is self-destruction.
104. Having control is not worth the pain it inflicts upon others.
105. Stare into the eyes of Fate; You might be surprised at what you see.
106. There is no right time like now.
107. Silence is the worst of all Enemies.
108. There is only one absolute instance when one person understands another; Once achieved, it will never come again.
109. Time is forgiving, but irreplaceable.
110. Everyone except everyone has the right to express their own opinion.
111. When in pursuit, Men are the slaves.
112. True evil comes from within, as does good.
113. True Sorrow is relentlessly harmful.
114. Truth is the hardest thing to see.
115. Hoping against hope is the trait of the Saints.
116. A person’s objectives and goals will change over time.
117. Fate works in Fucked up ways. - Can't Hardly Wait
118. Don’t doubt your instincts; God works through them.
119. True courage is when you keep going with no light at the end of the tunnel.
120. "Learn from the Past, Plan for the Future, Live in the Moment."
121. Great things happen to those who are willing to be patient.
122. Do not despair, Very Few actually see the End Game.
123. No matter how many times you get hurt, never be afraid to put your heart on the line.

Not everyone can live by these and if you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask. I will do my best to explain them, because they were meant for me.

What Do Ya Do?

Christy just left. Right after reading my Blog. We had a few drinks and then I showed it off to her. I don't know if that's what hastened her departure or what. She hates being reminded that I have strong feelings for her. I don't what to say. I feel how I feel, and I do what I do. I don't know. I think it's cool that I let her read it though. I love venting like this, because then I know that I'm being heard. I really do hate keeping things to myself. I don't know though. I hate it when she drifts away. I don't know what to do. And I don't want to date, because she is just so wonderful and I enjoy every minute I spend with her. But I also feel like I might be denying myself the companionship of someone else.

Aaargh!!! Guess I'll figure this out someday...

Am I Stupid or Brave?

Today I did something that will affect me for the next 6 years. I re-enlisted in the Army National Guard. That means that I'm in until July 20, 2011. I did it because they're giving me $15,000 and I continue to get my educational benefits. The benefits are pretty sweet for 2005-2006 because I get to have my school paid for by the National Guard and they pay me $788 a month to go to school. So this round the pros outweigh the cons. But the downside is that I will do at least one more 18 month deployment, maybe two. But at least my car will be payed off.

For those of you that don't know, at the beginning of August I will be buying a brand new 2005 Mustang. Jealous? You should be. It's gonna be a beautiful car. I'm gonna start test driving them in the next couple of weeks. Mmm.

Yeah, I spent most today catching up on Susie's Blogs. She remembers way too much and she knows how to elaborate on everything. It's amazing. I lost that talent when I was 14 and started getting involved with girls. Since then my memory has been devoted to remembering details so I don't get in trouble with the girls that I play with. It would be nice to swear off women and get my memory back, but no. I love women too much. I guess that's why people tell me I'm a womanizer. Maybe that's why I have posters of hot women all over my walls.

You know one thing I am looking forward too is the 4th of July. Didn't do anything spectacular last year, so I have to play this year. And this time we're going to see Kelly Clarkson, which I think will be a total blast. Then I have a bunch of fireworks that I have to get rid of, the kind of stuff that I haven't gotten to fire off in years. So I believe that will be a fun weekend. Then later in the month we are going to attempt a trip down south. I want to go to SoCali, Ryan wants to go to Vegas, and Ellie wants to go to St. George, so we'll see how it all works out. I wouldn't mind doing all three, but we'll see. (Ryan's a pansy and is afraid to ask for a week off from work. J/K) I need a vacation. Haven't had one since the end of July last year, and that was a crazy trip...

Sitting on my A...

Look at that, here I am on my Army Weekend, doing very little. I drove out with our truck, then we stood around for a while, then we went in laid down on our beds. 2 hours later we drove out to spot, waited for an hour, then went and picked up concrete barricades. That was pretty interesting because we got to mess around with a new attachment for our crane, it was special made for picking up barriers. It took us half an hour to figure out how to use the damn thing. Then we went shopping at our PX. After that we got ambushed on the road back. It was interesting. We looked at it and said "Cool Fireworks." Then we went and put the barriers down.

Quite the exciting day. I mean they kept us so busy that I had enough time to write my day down on the blog. The cool thing is that I make pretty good money for what I do. We do earn our pay in war though, so I guess it evens out.

One thing I do hate about these weekends is that I can't spend time with Christy. She hates it too. It's weird how close we've become. We started hanging out in January and now we hang out every day if we can. We're definitely best friends. Close, best friends. It was just weird to hear her tell me that she would rather hang out with me than her friends in Layton. We've definitely gotten closer over last couple of weeks too. I adore her and wouldn't trade her for anyone else in the world. If only...

What can I say? I have a pretty good thing going for me right now.

Just call me newbie...

Wow. I swore that I would never do this, but here I am. For those of you who don't know me (which is most of the known world) I'm Chris Money. Don't ask me how I got the name, my buddy Mr. Sweettooth will have to tell you.

I don't know how often I'll do this, but I come on periodically.

My life is pretty hectic. Between my job, Army, school, and Girls, my life is insane. But right now I mostly work and hang out with my best friend, whom is a beautiful girl and I have a huge crush on. I'm on Army weekend (for those of you that are lost, this is my once-a-monther for the National Guard) and I really should be sleeping because I have a long couple of days to look forward to, then a week of work. Work with my co-worker who is another crush. That girl is wonderful, but she kinda doesn't want me. This is how it works out for me. The ones I want, I can't have and the ones I can have, I don't want. It's frustrating but oh well. What can you do? Keep on truckin' until you meet the perfect one or convince the one that you're perfect... Hee hee hee.

I'm gonna call it a night, but I'm sure I'll have more for ya tomorrow.

P.S. Go see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. That movie rocks and the things that I'd do to Angelina...