End of April

So another month has come and gone. But more importantly, another semester has come and gone. This was definitely a lot harder than the last one and you remember all the drama I had in that one. It was horrible. But this one, takes the cake. Working almost full time, 18 credits at school, and my extreme personal life with Christy, tooks it's toll on me. The ashes are finally settling: Christy and I are trying to repair our friendship; I failed one, two, or three classes, I don't know yet (1 for sure); Courtney and I are talking pretty regularly; Hailey has disappeared; My dad has had some pretty interesting financial battles; and I have finally seen that I must prepare my life and get as much done with it before Iraq (Iran) again. Yes, and I'm buying a XBox 360 and a PSP. I need to get things rolling and my personal happiness is on the line.

The summer has begun and I hope everyone has a good time. Perhaps we should all hang out again, just like we used to...

Tension

So for me, tension is rising. I have few regular friends and I'm starting to get the same dreams and feelings that I felt in early 2003. For me, that means the war drums are beating again. So I look to the middle east and the news is, IRAN TELLS U.N. THAT THEY WILL CONTINUE TO ENRICH URANIUM. Mmmm... So I may return to the Middle East sooner than I thought. And the way my life is turning, I might even welcome it. With the loss of Christy, I don't have much I wish to do anymore, and $30,000+ in my pocket, living off of the government. Downside is, life and death again. Oh dear. Tomorrow is my last day of school. Joyus day for me. 3 months without school (maybe even more).
But... Nobody worry. Nothing in stone yet.

A Little Story

Christy and I have ended our friendship of more than a year has ended. It seems that once I pass the year mark anymore, the friendship ends. But we were more than friends since she went to California with me for Thanksgiving. We were so close, too close. We were totally wrapped up in one another's lives. We spent so much time together. So now it is going to be especially hard because there is a gaping hole in my heart. I was afraid that she was drifting away from me and in my arrogance, I pushed her to spend more time with me and then when I confronted her, I didn't do it gently, I accused her. And now I have pushed her away forever. Another loss in the long line of my life. Goodbye Christy.

Goodbye Cruel World

Is this the end? I haven't decided yet. I think my life as I know it is over. New book. Time to start over.

Upcoming Summer

I don't know how this summer is going to be. Last year I had so many people to hang out with, but now it is different. My best friend and I are going through a rough patch. I told her last night that I want more from her than friendship. She pretty much implied there wasn't a chance in Hades. I respect that decision except I don't think it is true. We've had an ongoing Love Affair since Thanksgiving, but in last couple of weeks she's wanted to stop it cold. I did tell her last night that I want to date her again. So we shall see. She's changed on me for the time being and I don't exactly feel comfortable with this change.
So life presses on. This is my last week if school. I'm excited. I just want to chill. It's been a long time since I've done two full semesters in a row (I think the last time was my senior year in high school.) I'm tired and just want to work through the summer. I do have two weeks of Army in June and 6 days between July and August. Hopefully I will get promoted to Sergeant this year (since I'm actually putting in for it.) I just want to have fun, so we'll see. I think it's gonna be a very laid back summer. Which is ok, but I think I'll get bored. I think I'm gonna take up reading again.
So I think I'm gonna be kinda selfish, because I want what I want. I've been pretty selfless lately and it's getting me nowhere. So, we'll see what happens...

Only Human

So I am only Human. I like everyone else, make mistakes, and I pay for them. Usually I do self-punishment. And I have. For the last 3 days I've been pretty hard on myself for something that I did. I have to live with it. Now it will never happen again. But someone else doesn't know how to react to me. I guess I am totally evil. But I'm not. It's just dumb. I'm Human. It's me, Chris. So, whatever... If you can't get over it, you don't deserve my friendship because I cannot be friends with someone who doesn't trust me.