Sunday, August 28, 2016

Awakenings

So I haven't posted a blog post in over 5 years. That would have been the first year of my marriage. I was happy with her. Not so much these days.

Okay so we'll do a rundown of this last year. Labor Day weekend 2015 I smacked my head and gave myself my 9th concussion. I spent time recovering but I was prevented from driving and reading. I went to a neuropsychiatrist and attended therapy for my neck and head. Then as I was beginning the home stretch of my recovery, a bombshell was dropped on me.

6 Days before Christmas, my wife told me she wanted a divorce. The next day she left. My siblings kidnapped me to Colorado for an escape over Christmas. So I stayed in a funk until after the holidays. I finally started warming up to her again so we could talk but she then informed me that she had already filed the divorce papers.

So through the end of February was spent dealing with transition. She finally agreed to sit down with me at the end of February and that`s when I had a revelation, I could no longer love this woman. 2 days later a good friend of mine informed me that she had decided to divorce her husband. So leaning on each other, back and forth, has become our pattern.

My divorce was finalized by the end of April. So now I get to redirect my life, only focusing on myself. I find myself looking at cute girls but no desire to ask them out. Kind of funny. I would rather rebuild my friendships that were damaged through the dark years (my marriage). But I still have lots of life left.

After reading through my old posts I noticed the rollercoaster of emotions that I used have, tied to the women around me. Hopefully I don't become like that again. But I also don't want to be as dull as I have been over the last 5+ years. I used to be fun and vital, but I became ornery and boring. No, no, no. Nevermore.

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