Why?

Always. When things are going grand, a huge-ass wrench is thrown in the mix. It screws up everything. I'm so sad again. Lord, I beseech thee, grant me true happiness.

I'm Older

So now I'm 24. I'm getting older. But as I've found out, I still have a lot of life left in me. My birthday party was the bomb. It was so much fun. I hope that everyone enjoyed themselves because I sure did. I know the boys were up until 5am playing Halo, I however didn't make it past 2:30. The next day however Christy and I did make it to 4am. Partyin'. We have too much fun together. Hahaha. Is there such a thing as too much fun? I don't think so. So I get to spend this whole week on vacation. With only one day that I have to do stuff. That's it. Finally I get to sit on my butt all day, for the first time in a long time. I love it. No alarms, nothing but fun and pleasure. I'm gonna read all day. Have lunch with my Christy the rest of the week. Get little things done that I need to get done. Work out, tan. Get into a rhythm that I've been seeking the whole semester. Oh yeah, and party at night. Can't forget that part. Hee hee hee. Also, I think everyone needs to check in and let us (me), know how you're doing.

Silence

I sit here,
Night after night,
Drawing a picture of
Something that does not exist.

My pictures are beautiful,
Sitting on the Canvas,
Until the water hits them;
And I realize,
While the paint runs,
It is nothing but a picture...

Then the fear hits,
Striking my heart,
Making me wonder,
If all I'm ever gonna have,
Is just these pictures.

My dark room,
My dreams
My wants and desires;
Are all that I seem to have.

Everytime something tangible
Passes within my grasp,
It always ends up
Being too good to be true.

So what can I do,
About this hurt from within?
Press on and act
Like a person who's soul is gone.

A Little Fun

So not much is up. I just did an army weekend, we're in the middle of midterms. Christy and I are gettin along. For you Kelly, the story is that we're up and down. Sometimes we're totally mad for each other, other times we're just warm. Mostly because of her. She doesn't like commitment, so she shies away. When she does that, my attention tends to wander to other girls. So we keep going. We're best friends and really close. She pulled out a letter fromlast year. Something happened that I didn't like and i wrote my response. I don't remember it but it boiled down to giving me a chance and I am worth every minute you put into the friendship. I asked her if I was worth it and she said that I was worth more than every minute she put into me. So we hang out constantly. We did try the boyfriend/girlfriend thing, but she just got downright mean with me. So we stay best friends, with benefits. We just try to stay out of trouble. Time will tell. Just like always...