Finding Joy in Times of Trial and Suffering

This is a talk I gave in my church a week and a half ago. I have had many who heard it approach and thank me for my words and the honesty that I was willing to share with them. When giving a talk I look at it from the point of view that if I can help or touch one person who needs it, then the talk was worth giving.

Here it is:

I was asked to speak today on the topic of Finding Joy in Times of Trial and Suffering. I already had plenty of trials to fall back on but in less than one week after agreeing to speak on this topic, I was given more trials to endure, most likely to test my resolve and my faith. Once I got over the shock and came to grips with my new, unfavorable situation, I kneeled down to pray and asked Heavenly Father, “Please don’t give me any more trials, I think I have enough examples for the talk I am going to give.” In the whirlwind that followed over the next week and a half, to the point when I wrote this talk last night, I had lot of thoughts. Eventually I came to the conclusion that I, myself, am the living proof that you can still hold onto joy and not succumb to despair, while your whole world is collapsing around you. In a devotional to BYU-Idaho in 2007, Brother Larry Richman had a great thought on this subject. He said “I’ve learned that the way I respond to trials can have a great effect on whether they become roadblocks in my life or expressways to learning and growth. When I anguish over difficulties, the experiences only serve to weigh me down. But remembering that these trials are part of the great plan of happiness helps me to see them as opportunities to grow and learn.” 

Is this not the absolute truth? When something comes along and tests your resolve to function in life, you have two choices. The first choice is to lay down and let the world overwhelm you, withdrawing while pretending that there is nothing you can do about it. The second choice is turn to heavenly father by getting down on your knees and praying for his guidance, his love, and his help to overcome the calamity that has befallen you. Before you know it, your heart will be filled with his love and you can push forward through life again, and begin to work through the problem. In the October 2017 Conference, Elder Uchtdorf told us “When the darkness of night falls, we do not despair and worry that the sun is extinguished. We do not postulate that the sun is not there or is dead. We understand that we are in a shadow, that the earth will continue to rotate, and that eventually the rays of the sun will reach us once again. ; If you open your mind and heart to receive the Light of Christ and humbly follow the Savior, you will receive more light. Line upon line, here a little and there a little, you will gather more light and truth into your souls until darkness has been banished from your life.”

We lean on Heavenly Father to give us the strength to find our joy in times of darkness. When we have extended periods without joy, our faith begins waver and could fracture, or even be destroyed. It is easier to fix something that is just cracked, than it is to rebuild it from scratch. I speak to this from my own experience. After I returned from war in Iraq and also, after my divorce, my faith had nearly shattered beyond repair. I was unhappy and sad for so long that I no longer turned to my savior in my times of need. I made choices that affected me for a long time and led me away from Jesus and his love. The more decisions I made causing me to stray from the path that Christ had laid out for me, the more unhappy and difficult my life became. I found myself relying on worldly things to try and bring me joy, but they only ended up making the emptiness I felt inside widen to a cavern of nearly limitless proportions. This led to self-loathing and discouragement about being able to forgive myself, let alone return to church without bursting into flames the moment I set foot inside. An article in the March 2013 Ensign described it perfectly “I had become an ‘empty chair.’ I felt as though Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ could never forgive me for what I’d done. Every time I would even consider trying to clean up my life during the moments when I could think clearly, self-loathing and discouragement took over. I would then give up on myself again.”  This predicament makes it incredibly difficult for any progress in your spiritual life to be made and you begin to look at it, like a mountain peak that can never be climbed. At some point you are ready to give up and turn your back on your faith, for all time. I definitely approached this point and was in danger of grinding my faith into dust, but then I met people who had the savior’s light shining so brightly within them, that it re-lit the fire in my own heart, which returned me to Christ and to the Church. Finding your joy can be as simple as partaking of the sacrament, reconnecting with someone you haven’t talked to in a long time, or just watching children interact with the world around them. Even writing a talk, in the darkest of hours, can bring a little joy into your heart. 

A great of example of this has been happening within the church during this holiday season. I have found that many of my friends have been posting on social media about their Light the World moments. This program is amazing at bringing joy to those in the church and all those with whom church members have been interacting. Seeing these moments of joy happening to people that I know in real world is amazing to see for me, even if it was through Instagram and Facebook. This has continued to light the joy in my heart and keep me from even thinking about my own problems. This is especially heartening considering that I can turn into a curmudgeon during the holidays, just ask my family. Without even realizing it, my friends have made me more joyful in this time of trial. 

Brothers and Sisters, we have so many choices to make in our lives, why not choose the path that not only brings joy to ourselves, but to everyone around us as well. In October of 2008, President Monson told us “We will never regret the kind words spoken or the affection shown. Rather, our regrets will come if such things are omitted from our relationships with those who mean the most to us. ; Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved.” 

We must show our joy to others as examples of the love Christ has for us and you will never know how that joy will affect someone who is struggling.